The Oscars

So I wanted to say something about the Oscars, but I didn't get a chance to write yesterday.

James Franco has got to be gay. That's the only explanation I can find for his performance on Sunday night. Anne Hathaway did a great job with the material she was given (and wow! I had no idea she could sing that well!) She engaged the audience and even tried to engage James.

But he was having none of it. I mean, even if Anne had rotten teeth, a gall bladder problem and had just eaten a garlic and onion sandwich, her breath could not have been so awful that it could explain James being so intent on not looking at her. It was as if he found her mere existence disgusting and disdainful. Perhaps he skipped his Oscar after-party and hopped a plane back home so he could kiss his boyfriend and get the bad aftertaste out of his mouth.

It was also painfully obvious that he was HUI (hosting under the influence). Even in the pre-show interviews he was acting strange, and curiously enchanted by one interviewer's iPhone, as if he had never seen such a device before in his life. I would have totally understood if Anne had kept turning away from him, taking a step or two away to maintain a fresh-air zone.

One wonders if the Academy realizes they'll never recapture the great performaces of previous shows. Billy Crystal came out and showed that great performers still exist. Then they rolled a few clips from Bob Hope's (many) days as MC. They planned this look back...why don't they take their own hint? You want a good show, get a good MC, and that good MC has historically been a great stand-up comedian. Trying to go "younger and hipper" (their words, through Anne Hathaway), they'll never please anyone. They need to go with a good comedian. If you want young, may I suggest John Mulaney, Bo Burnham or Gabriel Iglesias? Bo may be a little too deadpan. I think Adam Ferrara, who is in his 40s, would be a great host and could appeal to a younger crowd. I am trying really had to think of a good female host, but Chelsea Handler has already bombed on another show, Kristen Schaal is good, but can get annoying, and I have not seen Rene Hicks, who is totally a riot, on anything in years. :-(

That aside, Thank GOD King's Speech won. I don't think I could have stomached hearing about that computer/internet related non-documentary (I refuse to even write The Social Network's title ... aww, damn it!) for another 6 months.

Now to focus on the great movies of this year!

MTV VMAs last night

Chelsea Handler is a great comedienne, in my opinion, and I love comedy. Just ask my parents…from a very young age I have parroted my favorite comedy stand-up routines, sometimes to their enjoyment, sometimes to their tremendous embarrassment. To this day I love to watch Stand-Up…I have satellite TV specifically to get Comedy Central.

Chelsea Lately … ok, well, it’s not on Comedy Central. It’s on E! Entertainment Television. But it’s a good show. Comedic commentary on current events. I can’t say I care much for the skits she does at the end of the show, but the panel discussions are pretty good, in my humble opinion.

And I have always thought the only reason to watch any awards show is the host. Too many musical artists can’t pull off a live performance. Award winners can be found in the news the next day. Even the best and worst dressed are better the next day. If the host sucks, I see no reason to watch the show.

But last night’s VMAs just sucked. Chelsea was stiff, uncomfortable and basically lost. The writing was horrible. About the only thing that I found entertaining was LiLoh’s self-deprecating rant. “Pull it together, Handler! Do you think anyone wants to work with a drunk? Take it from me…they don’t!” If you ask me, in those 20 seconds she outshined Handler…and made me believe she might actually have a chance at getting back on top of Hollywood.

I hope Chelsea gets a chance to host another awards show. But if she does, I hope she’ll bring the writers from her E! program.