BDSM Cat

So I think my cat is into bondage.

In a previous post I explained how my cat only really likes to be pet when I'm in the bathroom. The first time that happened, I kept pushing him away, but the more I pushed, the louder he purred, and the more interested he was in being pet.

So I pet him. Aggressively, hoping he'd go away. That just made him even more excited. He purred, and meowed, and purrowed, and meowurred ... he even meowurrowed. Now I scratch his back, and his belly, or both at the same time. I pat him like a dog, hard enough to push him to the floor. He rolls left, I push him right, he rolls right so I push him left. I have even tried spinning him.

It just makes him more excited, and as soon as I stop he runs back and shoves his face in my hand for more.


I have a cat with multiple paraphilias...


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Bing sucks

Oh, my GAWD, do I hate Bing. When I 'use' Bing, it's by accident (some link I click being the Bing equivalent of "Google This:"), and every time I Bing, I get back a page that doesn't have my answer, but a lot more questions about my topic. If I click on one of those questions, I end up on ANOTHER page full of questions.

Case in point: this morning I clicked on a link that said, "The Voices behind the voice-overs." In the short article description it said, "Find out who voiced some of our most popular characters and commercials." So I clicked, partly to see who they thought were "our" most popular characters and commercials.

The first page was DARTH VADER. Now, I already know that James Earl Jones did that voice. But the page only said:

Famous voice overs

Search: Darth Vader

The actor who voiced the dark-side lord in the “Star Wars” franchise also voiced:

The tagline voiceover for Ted Turner’s news network.

The leader of African wildlife in “The Lion King”

His signature basso voice wasn’t always stellar. The Mississippi-born actor spent his early years ridding himself of a speech disorder.

Many of the key phrases were hyperlinks, and some of them actually pointed to a search for James Earl Jones. But the point is that I already clicked on something saying I was interested in knowing who the @#$! did the voice! GIVE ME THE F@$#@$NG NAME OF THE ACTOR! It makes me think that somehow Bing gets paid for every click on every page (maybe "paid" in the sense that they increase the number of clicks through their servers, therefore being able to report that they are the most clicked site.

Would it have been so hard to re-write the above page like so:

Famous voice overs

Search: Darth Vader

James Earl Jones, the actor who voiced the dark-side lord in the “Star Wars” franchise, also voiced:

The tagline voiceover for Ted Turner’s news network.

The leader of African wildlife in “The Lion King”

His signature basso voice wasn’t always stellar. The Mississippi-born actor spent his early years ridding himself of a speech disorder.

It's gotten to the point that when I click on a link and something comes up with BING on it, I just instantly close the page.

Anyone want to join me? As Lisa Simpson said, "We'll march day and night by the big cooling tower. They have the plant, but we have the power!"

Don't forget to check out the e-book at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/32964
Hopefully I'll have a novella available by the end of this month! Tell a friend!
And please write a review on Smashwords and/or Amazon.com.

The odd thing about my cat ...

I don't understand why my cat will go to great lengths to avoid me when I call him and want to pet him, but gets very upset if I don't pet him while I am ... um ... "using the facilities." If I ever happen to walk by when he is using his cat box he gives me the evil eye, but when I go into my bathroom, he opens the door and throws himself at my feet, rolling around and meow-purring.

I have lever-style handles on my doors, so he learned how to open the door. I started locking the door, but the whole time I am in there, he sits outside, meowing as if he is in pain, so it became easier to just let him come in, especially since he comes running any time he hears noise in the bathroom (and you know how keen a cat's hearing is).

I almost feel sorry for him when I'm going into the shower. He runs in, thinking I'm headed for the throne, only to see me turn on that evil contraption. He looks upset, but stays fairly quiet, watching to make sure I really am going into that torture chamber. Sometimes, as I wait for the water to warm up, he sticks his face in, just to make sure that really is water shooting around in there. If I take a step his direction, he bolts back into the living room.

You'd think he'd be used to it by now. When I was in med school, after anatomy lab I would go home and get into the tub for about 30 minutes, hoping to get rid of the smell of formaldehyde and death. At that time I lived alone, and he would come in, stand on his hind legs meerkat style about 5 feet from the tub to make sure I was still alive.

Now he doesn't seem to care about my safety when faced with water coming down all around me. I guess he's pretty brave ... after all, a bathroom is a room totally dedicated to the use of water, mortal enemy of the house cat. Still, brave or not, it's a bit annoying at times to have to pet the cat while simultaneously doing my business.

I guess he doesn't understand the fact that it would be the equivalent of me rolling around on the floor in front of his cat box.

'Scuse me whilst I go poke out my mind's eye.

Don't forget to check out the e-book at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/32964
Hopefully I'll have a novella available by the end of this month! Tell a friend!
And please write a review on Smashwords and/or Amazon.com.