Smoking

My parents smoke like chimneys.
When I was in my first year of college, I would come home from class in the early evening. Opening the front door, a shaft of light would break through the darkness of the living room (my dad would keep the place dark as a movie theater so he could enjoy the first generation large screen TV), and I could see the cloud bank that encompassed the whole place, from ceiling down to the level of your knees.

Then California rolled out the "no smoking in public buildings" laws. We usually ate out at least once per week, if not two or three times. In the early days, we could still sit on the patio and my dad could smoke. Later, even that disappeared from his option list, and they stopped going out.

So the other day my dad came to me and asked if I could get him a box of nicotine patches.

"Oh, are you guys finally going to quit smoking?" I asked, trying to hide my pride.

"No," he replied. "I'm taking your mother out to a fancy-schmancy restaurant for our 45th anniversary, and I think I'll need a few to get through the dinner."

Don't forget to check out America the Beautiful at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/32964
Please write a review on Smashwords and/or Amazon.com.
Jane's Adventures in Eating will be out at the end of the week! Tell a friend!

Faux Fur

The other day I saw a news report about a rally against the use of real fur in the production of clothing and accessories. They had the perfect spokesperson.

I don't think there is anything on Ms. Lavinthal that is not "faux." This woman has had so much plastic surgery I think that she may be a life-sized animatronic version of Barbie. She is the poster child for the faux future.

I'm not against the use of "faux fur." Anyone who wants to wear faux fur, more power to them. But I really think it's time to stop wearing faux noses, faux foreheads, faux lips, faux faces in general. When you stop looking human, you've gone a little too far on the plastic surgeries, baby.

Don't forget to check out America the Beautiful at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/32964. Please write a review on Smashwords and/or Amazon.com.
Jane's Adventures in Eating will be out at the end of the week. Tell a friend!

BDSM Cat

So I think my cat is into bondage.

In a previous post I explained how my cat only really likes to be pet when I'm in the bathroom. The first time that happened, I kept pushing him away, but the more I pushed, the louder he purred, and the more interested he was in being pet.

So I pet him. Aggressively, hoping he'd go away. That just made him even more excited. He purred, and meowed, and purrowed, and meowurred ... he even meowurrowed. Now I scratch his back, and his belly, or both at the same time. I pat him like a dog, hard enough to push him to the floor. He rolls left, I push him right, he rolls right so I push him left. I have even tried spinning him.

It just makes him more excited, and as soon as I stop he runs back and shoves his face in my hand for more.


I have a cat with multiple paraphilias...


Don't forget to check out the e-book at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/32964
I was hoping to have a novella available today, but I wasn't able to write all weekend. It will be out at the end of the week! Tell a friend!
And please write a review on Smashwords and/or Amazon.com.