Charlie Sheen

I don't get Charlie Sheen's preference for porn stars.

If he was just going for a pretty face with big chichis, I think he would end up with fewer porn stars. Let's face it, people watching porn are not looking at faces.

I wonder if he thinks he'll get more sex from a porn star than a 'regular Jane.' I would think that would not be the case. I mean, they spend all day doing that at work. I would think they would come home to a horny Chuck and be all, "Awww, come on, Charlie! I just had four guys banging me for the last 6 hours! I need a break. Maybe tomorrow, ok?"

I mean, when I was in my internship, I delivered 85 babies in two months of OB/GYN. I know that the last thing I wanted to see when I got home was another vagina. If any job could turn a man gay, it's gotta be Obstetrician. The most beautiful experience in the world my butt! It's all a bunch of screaming, gushing, oozing, and juggling of the slime covered lizard that arrives ... not only do I not want to go home and see another vagina, I never want to do anything that would cause my wife to create such a mess!

I can't imagine that he's looking for status. "Look at me ... I bagged a porn star!" Right or wrong (I think most likely WRONG), people would tend to think, "Um ... how hard is that? She's a porn star ... gotta be a nympho." And while I think most porn stars would probably not be like this, I think the ones who are hanging out with Chucky are most likely in it for the money and/or exposure.

Then again, I know zero porn stars ... for all I know, they're using "porn star" as a euphemism for "prostitute," in which case it all makes sense ... Chucky is paying to have some arm candy hanging around, and probably even offer up the sexual side of the equation on demand.

Not a great financial plan, but at least it's a well defined business agreement.