Fat Cat or Happy Cat

I have a problem with my cats. They eat. My mother always put down a bowl full of dry cat food and would let her cats eat as much as they wanted. There would always be food in their dish, and they could help themselves throughout the day.

The problem is, her cats are fat. Very fat. And I've been told that it is not good for a cat to be that fat. Makes sense to me ... if human's can't handle being obese, why should a cat be able to get away with it? The vet tells me I have to keep my cat's weight down so I reduce their portions (I'd put them on a treadmill, but they're cats: if they can't figure a way out of it, they'll just take revenge on me later).

The problem with this is that almost every minute of my "I'm home, not sitting down and not sleeping" day I have to deal with between one and three cats meowing frantically, trying to lead me to the closet in which they know I hide their food supply. Heaven forbid I actually have to walk in the direction of said closet, or worse, open that closet. They get all excited and dance around, thinking I'm going to give them more food, even though I just fed them 30 minutes ago. They're so insistent I end up having to tell them, "No," repeatedly.

This ends up stressing me out, and the, "No," turns into, "No!" sometimes accompanied by a stamping of my foot. Of course this, in turn, stresses out my cats (or so I believe). So this makes me wonder: is it better to limit the caloric intake of my cats, keeping them a healthy weight but making them believe they are always hungry and causing both them and me to suffer chronic stress, or allow them to eat all they want, living happily obese?

BDSM Cat

So I think my cat is into bondage.

In a previous post I explained how my cat only really likes to be pet when I'm in the bathroom. The first time that happened, I kept pushing him away, but the more I pushed, the louder he purred, and the more interested he was in being pet.

So I pet him. Aggressively, hoping he'd go away. That just made him even more excited. He purred, and meowed, and purrowed, and meowurred ... he even meowurrowed. Now I scratch his back, and his belly, or both at the same time. I pat him like a dog, hard enough to push him to the floor. He rolls left, I push him right, he rolls right so I push him left. I have even tried spinning him.

It just makes him more excited, and as soon as I stop he runs back and shoves his face in my hand for more.


I have a cat with multiple paraphilias...


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The odd thing about my cat ...

I don't understand why my cat will go to great lengths to avoid me when I call him and want to pet him, but gets very upset if I don't pet him while I am ... um ... "using the facilities." If I ever happen to walk by when he is using his cat box he gives me the evil eye, but when I go into my bathroom, he opens the door and throws himself at my feet, rolling around and meow-purring.

I have lever-style handles on my doors, so he learned how to open the door. I started locking the door, but the whole time I am in there, he sits outside, meowing as if he is in pain, so it became easier to just let him come in, especially since he comes running any time he hears noise in the bathroom (and you know how keen a cat's hearing is).

I almost feel sorry for him when I'm going into the shower. He runs in, thinking I'm headed for the throne, only to see me turn on that evil contraption. He looks upset, but stays fairly quiet, watching to make sure I really am going into that torture chamber. Sometimes, as I wait for the water to warm up, he sticks his face in, just to make sure that really is water shooting around in there. If I take a step his direction, he bolts back into the living room.

You'd think he'd be used to it by now. When I was in med school, after anatomy lab I would go home and get into the tub for about 30 minutes, hoping to get rid of the smell of formaldehyde and death. At that time I lived alone, and he would come in, stand on his hind legs meerkat style about 5 feet from the tub to make sure I was still alive.

Now he doesn't seem to care about my safety when faced with water coming down all around me. I guess he's pretty brave ... after all, a bathroom is a room totally dedicated to the use of water, mortal enemy of the house cat. Still, brave or not, it's a bit annoying at times to have to pet the cat while simultaneously doing my business.

I guess he doesn't understand the fact that it would be the equivalent of me rolling around on the floor in front of his cat box.

'Scuse me whilst I go poke out my mind's eye.

Don't forget to check out the e-book at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/32964
Hopefully I'll have a novella available by the end of this month! Tell a friend!
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Cats ...

So I don't understand why they say cats are a gay man's pet. It's not about being gay, it's about living in an apartment. I love animals, and wanted to get a pet, and I actually didn't live in an apartment, I had my own house. But my house had a very small yard, so I didn't feel right getting a dog.

I could have gotten a dog...though probably would have needed to get a small dog (tell me that doesn't scream "gay"). I prefer big dogs - I wanted an Alaskan Husky or maybe a Labrador. That would have been borderline cruel, trapping a dog that big in a house that small. Even if I took it out for a walk twice a day, the poor thing would be cooped up the rest of the time.

On top of that, my uncle died, leaving an orphaned cat, so I "took it in."

See? Nothing about being gay ... just about being considerate to your pets.

Don't forget to check out the e-book at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/32964
Hopefully I'll have a novella available by the end of this month! Tell a friend!
And please write a review on Smashwords and/or Amazon.com.